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polarvoidWELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, CHARACTER NAME/ALIAS. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 018.07.154.55 *** CHARACTER NAME/ALIAS has joined 018.07.154.55 <Daisy>This is Basil! I'm not around right now, but if you leave a message I'll get back to it as soon as I can. <BANNED USER> SCREENED MESSAGE. UNSCREEN? Y/N -- sample for when you ban someone <USERNAME> First sentence of message. <USERNAME> First sentence of message. | ||||
truth event | cw: mild gore -> suicidal ideation, homicidal ideation, omori+st4 spoilers!
Date: 2023-04-19 12:06 am (UTC)Since their heart-to-heart in the woods, when she realizes they share more than a few maladaptive coping mechanisms, she's made an active effort to reach out to him. It's never anything big, just asking if he wants to tag along when she goes into the city, or if he has plans, or how his flying is going. Things like that. What she promised herself was, if she noticed him shutting himself up, she'd stop it. Whatever way she could, she wouldn't let him be alone.
So when he starts not coming out of his room after the strange violin music fills the air, she gets worried. The first day it may not be anything, but the second? She goes to knock on his door and try to get an answer out of him. Calls his name, and opens her mouth to ask if he's okay, and then, apropos of nothing— ]
I used to pray that—
[ Max shoves her hands over her mouth and backs away from the door, eyes wide. It's muffled but she's still talking, oh god, why is she still talking, she practically chokes on her pawpads as they effectively gag her. One, two, three struggling clops of her hooves, before she races down the hall, slams her door, and buries herself under her headphones.
It's just a reactionary response. But it fixes the issue. So, like Basil, that's where she stays. Shut up in her room, isolated from the world, in fear of turning herself inside out against her will. Again.
That's almost how she stays through the week, but of course her plans change.
Of course they don't go well.
Max returns to the Palazzo on the night of the 20th. Her car needs to air out, the interior soaked. Her legs are missing chunks from them, a consequence of the mutant fish getting too close. Her beloved Walkman's a waterlogged lump, and she prays her cassette is salvageable. But, she should be grateful. Eddie and Nanami got her home in one piece, and that's all she can really ask for.
She hasn't fully dried off yet when she drags herself up the stairs, under the pretense of getting some rest for the first time in twenty-four hours. Max wants to be alone, she thinks, wants to lick her wounds in piece. She's somehow paler than before, and her body feels both too warm and too cold, like the fevers she'd get in Hawkins at winter's start. Everything seems to hang loose on her, and her tail drags across the floor. Everything feels heavy. Like her muscles tensing up. Seizing. Max knows in trying so hard to help others, she's doomed someone to be her next meal. She should be on her way to talk to Fugo and arrange something. She should fall into her bed and cry out whatever liquid's seeped into her sodden form. She should at least wrap the bites on her legs, which irregularly ooze purplish-red sludge instead of blood.
But she does none of those things.
Just like at the start, she finds herself at Basil's door.
Max can still hear the music, louder than ever now. It doesn't compel her out the door back to the lake, however. Maybe it compels her here. But, she wants to foolishly believe, at least in some way, that this is in part her choice. ]
Basil?
[ A weak knock at the door. Her voice is scratchy, like she has a cold. She doubts it'll carry. ]
Basil, I—
Please let me in. I- w-want to- [ Something aches in her bones. ] I need to see you.
[ If this damn thing wants her to tell the truth, fine. She'll tell the fucking truth. ]
omori spoilers from here on, will tag for more specific heavy cws, cw: hallucination, dissasociation
Date: 2023-04-19 01:07 am (UTC)No, when the first tones came to him even through his closed window, Basil had been shocked awake, upright in bed by the strings that sang a sad meloncholy at him. It thrummed a melody that vibrated in his veins, settled like a stone in the pit of his stomach and festered.
For what Basil feels is guilt.
It is far from a new emotion. He feels it, ambiently, every single day of his life. He's able to push it aside more easily here than he could back home, due to the fact that he's currently so divorced from the source. Most people here just see him as Basil...nothing more. He is not connected to tragedy, unless you count being here one. He may still be guarding a secret close to his chest, and it may have already slipped through the cracks a few times...but it's little enough that he's been able to manage it. Katurian has not brought it up again, Kaito was extremely quick to brush it all off as a nightmarish hallucination. It wasn't great, but it was manageable. Basil could handle it.
...but on the second day of the siren song's assault, Something appeared.
For the first time since Basil's arrival...he can see it. He can see it very clearly, situated in the corner of his bedroom...watching him. That ugly, massive eye, looking down on him and asking the question: why? Why did you do it, Basil? How could you? How could you hurt your friends? How could you hurt him? Hurt her?
Logic dictates that he would want to leave his room to escape it, but he does not. He instead remains huddled in his room, curled up on the bed as the pressure mounts, like a balloon steadily growing in his skull. Because the truth is...the truth? For some time now, Basil had been...wondering. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, Sunny would come to him and they could maybe...do something. It isn't a massive hope, nor has it over-ridden his desire to keep the secret entirely, but it's there...under many, many layers. Hope against hope, perhaps. Recent events had all but destroyed the possibility of course, leaving Basil more distraught and in turmoil than ever before...
And that is what this melody latches on to. The idea that there IS no way out. There is nothing he can do.
...except to tell someone else. Anyone. Someone, anyone, please help him-
He'd been in one of these states of disassociation, sometimes in his room at the Palazzo, sometimes in his room at Grandma's, always with Something watching him, when he'd heard a voice beyond his door that startled him so badly he's sure his heart stopped. He barely registers it as Max- just as a young voice, around his age- and part of him isn't even sure if it's actually there. He'd sat and listened for a long time, but when nothing else came...it was back to the cycle. The music seems to just be getting louder and louder, making him feel ill. He barely leaves to eat, or drink, he just...
Wants it to stop.
But then...
Basil lifts his head from his knees, refusing now to look in the corner because it's still there, lurking, and he's almost gotten accustomed to its presence at this point. He thinks he heard something just then, like before (how long ago was it? An hour? A day? A week?), and he's almost ready to ignore it when...it continues. And the voice- her voice- is just enough to pull him out of his stupor.]
M...Max...
[He sits up a little more, the soft bioluminescent glow of the flowers growing from his horns the only thing lighting his room, currently. They're gladiolus. They have been ever since the music began.
No. No no no.
It's so hard to fight it. It's so hard that Basil is starting to feel a real, physical ache from the force.
He can't.]
T...the door....it's...
[Unlocked. It's always been unlocked.]
cw: implied domestic violence/abuse, gore
Date: 2023-04-20 06:41 am (UTC)She's had her room burst into unannounced far too many times to be comfortable doing that to someone else.
But she lays a cold hand on the doorknob and turns, and the sight in the room...
He's huddled up here in the dark, and it just about breaks her heart to see. The glow catches on his scales, and it almost makes him look like something from a movie, a puppet all backlit for a close-up to scare the piss out of a bunch of thirteen-year-olds.
But Max has seen things far scarier than tricks of the light, experienced horrors that put it all to shame. So she trudges into his room one slow, wobbly step at a time. She doesn't know how good gargoyles can see in the dark, but she hopes he can't tell just how completely awful she must look. Stale blood dribbles down her leg through holes in her jeans, and— Well. She knows better than to hope he can't smell that, at least. ]
I... I don't...
[ Now that she's here... She doesn't know what to say. Her hooves just carried her to his door, part out of a strong desire not to be alone and part...
She doesn't know. At least, she doesn't know where to start. How to start. If it's even fair to do this.
In the end she settles for a weak wave and an even weaker, ] Hi. I- C-can I come in?
[ The compulsion doesn't make her say please but it's there in her voice all the same. ]
cw: suicidal ideation
Date: 2023-04-20 11:15 pm (UTC)A pair of secateurs lay on his shelf near his plants, the metal glinting in his eye a near constant despite how little light is in the room to begin with. Beckoning.
It's the only way to stop the noise. To stop this urge, replace it with another.
It's almost poetic. It's been there, watching him for days...and Basil has been too scared to approach. Because of that, it's perhaps been saving his life.
As a Gargoyle, Basil has one of the sharpest sets of eyes across the various species in Ryslig. He has night vision (it does not help his terror at the moment, for he would be seeing things regardless), and at times his ability to pick out minute details is so sharp it makes his head hurt. So when Max hobbles into the room, she might hear him audibly gasp the instant her hooves cross the threshold. He can see her injuries in sharp relief, and it sets his heart to hammering.
He doesn't offer her permission to enter so much as he just doesn't reject the intrusion, too focused on that to say as much.]
Y-you're hurt.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-21 03:25 am (UTC)It's fine. [ A grimace. Ow. Oww, she holds tight to her arm and rephrases, ] It doesn't hurt much, anymore. I just haven't healed yet.
[ The song doesn't think that's enough, so she keeps talking, a little frantically— ]
I w-was gonna go wrap it, but I wasn't thinking and just really- had to...see you.
[ She thinks if she had something other than still, stale blood, she'd be blushing right now, mortified from the very frank vulnerability. ]
I- didn't want to be alone.
[ Incredibly mortified. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-04-21 03:54 am (UTC)But he's had years of practice. Years, holding his tongue. It was always going to be a little harder for this magic to take hold of him, but...
Take hold it will. Because at this point, Basil has been fighting it for days. He's weak and tired, and it shows in the way he trembles slightly as he uncurls just slightly, sitting forward a fraction.]
...neither do I.
[He breathes it, as if he's whispering a secret. Basil can't help but feel...some kind of way, for sure, when Max insists that she needed to see him. To be with him.
Why? He doesn't know. All he knows is that he's too worn thin to protect himself any longer. He just hopes she remembers to shut the door, as the darkness fills the space around them.
Basil's eyes are wide as he speaks up a moment later, almost unnaturally so.]
...you hear it too, don't you?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-21 06:13 am (UTC)It's not just you. I can barely hear anything else.
[ A confession in return. ]
cw: hallucination
Date: 2023-04-21 06:24 am (UTC)But what Basil says next is more concerning. Perhaps more chilling, given the way he's suddenly not looking at Max, but past her.
At the corner.]
...do you see it, too?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-21 06:59 am (UTC)It's the most comparable experience. But this time, Steve's not going to leap out of nowhere to protect her, he's asleep. Lucas isn't going to hold her hand to comfort her, he's not here.
Max tenses up, but to her credit she only hesitates for a good three seconds or so before she turns her head in the direction Basil's looking in, eyes wide, to see—
An empty corner. ]
...N-no. No, that one, I... I don't see anything.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-21 05:53 pm (UTC)Not that she'd understand. If anything, it's likely only made things feel worse, given how Basil is huddled in the dark and not really making pains to make the atmosphere feel at all safe.
He swallows hard, forcing himself to tear his eyes away from it. It won't go anywhere. It never does.]
...I see it. Because I-
[Before he can finish, he sucks in a sharp, pained breath, and quickly brings his hands up over his nose. He holds his mouth shut, so firmly he can feel his fangs gouge his tongue, but he ignores it. Because his lips try to move regardless, his head and shoulders trembling with the force of trying to hold it back.
Selfish. You're SELFISH. You're a monster, in real life and in your mind.
Basil shakes his head a little, a thin whimper escaping him as he pulls his legs closer to his chest. He can't keep this up. Every time he stops himself, it hurts worse. It would be such a relief to tell someone, anyone. tell them anything.
The violin sings louder.]
cw: suicidal ideation
Date: 2023-04-22 04:21 am (UTC)But as she tries so hard to study him, focusing as he breaks off and takes an action much like her own, physically gagging himself to keep from talking, she can see, he isn't in a trance. He's talking to her, alert, but she doesn't know what kind of magic monsters have here that could do this. Why didn't she read more of the stupid guide? Why only stop at waldgeist? Someone is hurting her friend, and she doesn't know- she can't figure out what to do.
She doesn't even have her Walkman to fall back on.
Overcome with frustration, Max has only one thought. It wasn't the violin that compelled her here, it was her own hooves, so she makes the choice for herself to keep using them, stumbling across the floor to closes the distance between them—quite literally, stumbling. Her legs seem ready to give out, and she bites her lower lip to keep focused on just walking, something that used to be so, so simple. ]
Basil— [ Through gritted teeth. ] You- c-can talk to me. You can- tell me. I'm not—
[ There's the literal stumble, as her left leg suddenly folds like an accordion, depositing her in a heap on the floor in front of him. Max winces and hisses, as more sludgy blood pours from her wounds—but it's not just blood. No, it seems actually blood is the minority of what's coming out of her. It's moss, brilliantly red in ways moss shouldn't be, spilling out of her in its place.
Max feels like she's going to cry. All she's doing is stressing him out more. Her body won't listen to her. She can't help anyone like this. Something dark and heavy in her sys she should just give up. Lay here and do nothing, until her dead body gets with the program and decays.
The rest of her screams so loud it drowns that out. Pushes onto stiff yet trembling elbows. ]
...nn-not...leaving you...alone.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-22 07:03 pm (UTC)[There's some irony, in this being the only thing that could have snapped Basil out of it. Not completely- that music is impossible to ignore, and the fact the instrument couldn't be more grimly perfect if it tried is not helping matters- but it's enough that he's able to wrench his mind out of the trench it was trying to bury itself deep within, ready to open itself like a book for Max's perusal. There's no saying that isn't still going to happen, of course. It's just been delayed, the inevitable.
Basil moves, his limbs acting of seemingly their own accord as he slides off the bed to land in a heavy impact on the floor with Max, crawling the last few feet towards her to try to help her sit up. He's not sure if she can get to her knees like this, what with her wounds...but he isn't just going to sit in a petrified little ball while she languishes on the ground, helpless.
But the brief distraction means that Basil is left open. His mind, vulnerable. He sits up even as he's trying to help Max up, his ears perking upright when the music catches him off-guard.]
D...do you remember...when I told you I fell into the lake?
cw: drowning mentions, internalized ableism
Date: 2023-04-22 08:19 pm (UTC)(Lucas had wanted to come over, hadn't he, when she didn't come to school, thankfully he'd used her window, and it was how she got a walkie-talkie so they could keep in touch, her real induction into the Party—)
Max blinks away the memory swimming behind her eyes as Basil's little paws pull her up. Her shoulders shake with heavy breathing, autopilot from memories of being sick in bed and not something she actually needs. Leftover water in her lungs has it sound like wheezing. Like there's a little babbling brook inside her. Basil's assumption is very correct, as Max's attempts to push onto her knees only draw out more disgusting sloppy moss and an involuntary little whine. What this means is she's practically leaning on Basil. It's hard to look at him, and when he sits up she slumps against his side. ]
What? [ It's not what she's expecting. But she nods, antler brushing against Basil's arm. ] Y-yeah. I do.
cw: drowning
Date: 2023-04-22 08:48 pm (UTC)So as Max sits up and leans against him, Basil immediately wraps his tail loosely around her. He's careful, the spines laying down against his skin so they don't accidentally poke into her. He just hopes it's enough to help her stay upright. He's so worried about her, and if this music weren't dictating his every thought, he'd be asking her if she was okay. He can hear the way her voice sounds when she breathes, like she's halfway underwater...
And really, that's what brings Basil right back to the words dancing on the tip of his tongue.]
I...it wasn't...
[Get away from me!!
He remembers how cold it was, when he crashed through the water's surface. He remembers...thinks he remembers someone jumping in after him, but he doesn't know who. Because soon after that the darkness swallowed him up, and then...
...]
I was...pushed. A-and I...I don't remember anything after that.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-22 09:00 pm (UTC)What?
[ Again. She asks again. Because this has to be— ]
You mean- y-you're... You died?
[ She's shivering. She can't stop herself from shivering, even though the cold's a concern of the past. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-04-22 09:11 pm (UTC)[He really doesn't know. But how is he supposed to come to any other conclusion? He doesn't remember being rescued the water, nor did it seem like he was in good shape at the time he does recall last. He's never been a strong swimmer...
Basil shakes his head a little, bringing his hands up to his face, his eyes wide because he didn't...want to tell Max this. But he did anyway. And it's made the guilt...not better, exactly, but maybe less heavy. Just by a fraction.]
I'm...I'm s-sorry, I don't know why I...
[This is why he didn't want to be around anyone. If he's liable to say anything right now, then-!
His breath catches, and the melody hits him again, like a wave crashing over his head, and the words tumble from his mouth unbidden.]
A-aubrey pushed me in...Sunny and Kel were t-there too, but...they weren't...S-sunny wasn't...he wasn't...
["Sunny" may be familiar, since he cried out for Sunny during his changes.
Aubrey certainly is, since he mistook Max for her, at one point.]
no subject
Date: 2023-04-22 09:30 pm (UTC)Her head feels like it's spinning. ]
She pushed you?! [ Something angry boils inside her. Angry and also- ] —Did y-you- think I was g-gonna... hurt you?
[ Too tired to cover her mouth, the question rushes out. A trembling hand reaches up, too late. ]
Fuck. Sh-shit, I'm sorry. I'm s- sorry, I knnn- I know...
[ No, everything's hurting. A dull pain, like feedback slowly screaming inside her. Because she doesn't know. She's still worried. She's always worried. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-04-22 09:45 pm (UTC)And the worst part?]
No! I mean...I was...I was scared...
[It means he can't stop himself from answering her completely truthfully. It comes out no matter what, and now, well. They're both kinda just stuck with it, sitting on the floor of his room as they are.
For what it's worth, he has the decency to look horrified that he even would have suggested such a thing. Could have implied it. Because Max...it's differnent now. He doesn't feel that way anymore, he trusts her implicitly.
But that doesn't change the fact that that was how he'd felt before.]
It isn't your fault! There was so much going on...a-and I...I'd just gotten here...
[Years of bullying. Years of stress. Being overwhelmed. Thinking he'd potentially died...then being thrust (with good intentions) onto a trip, having Max- a partially changed monster- snap at him. It was a wonder Basil had managed to keep it together, back then.]
It- it's not...it isn't like that, I-
cw: cannibalism
Date: 2023-04-22 10:04 pm (UTC)No, that...
She's still shivering, but a tension present in Max fades away. She can't run from this. Can't do anything but sit here with everything she's been trying to keep inside. ]
I knew. I knew y-you were scared. You l-looked- so t-terrified, and it made me...so angry. [ She squeezes her eyes shut but her damn mouth keeps moving. ] 'Cause I couldn't- I couldn't blame you, 'cause I was- s-so hungry. I wanted to- I kept thinking- it would've been so- easy, I was- so scared I was gonna hurt you.
[ The wheezing's died down. There's still water in her lungs, leftover from the lake, and it makes itself known with just little gasps, born more of the tears running down her face than any futile attempts at breathing.
Her eyes look especially dull when they flick upwards. When she tries to see what sort of face he's making. The light around his horns blurs his expression, especially with her vision hazy as it is right now. ]
cw: cannibalism/self depreciation/brief suicidal ideation
Date: 2023-04-22 10:21 pm (UTC)It would have been so easy. The thought rattles Basil to his very core, despite knowing he has no business to judge Max now for any of it. It's exactly what he thought, when he was stalking humans on the street, seeking prey but lacking the ability to take them out on his own. It's the only thought he had on his mind when he'd attacked Bakugo, trying desperately to rip his flesh from his bones with a fervor he never thought could be possible.
Max is crying, and it hurts to see just as much as it did back in the Pale. And then...the thoughts return.
It's his fault she's upset. If he could have kept his mouth shut, they could have just sat here together in silence. They would have been suffering still, maybe, but at least they would have just had each other for company and nothing more.
Feeling helpless, Basil searches Max's expression for something- anything- he can latch onto, where he might be able to find the words to fix this. Instead, he finds himself glancing over to the shelf, where the secateurs still lay near a potted daisy. He's only forced to look back because it's still watching him, daring him to make a move.]
B-but you didn't! You didn't because you'd never.
[It's easier for Basil to tell a half-truth when it's not about himself, he's suddenly finding. Or...maybe it's because he wholeheartedly believes that.]
I trust you, Max...I do.
cw: self deprecation/abuse logic/victim blaming
Date: 2023-04-22 10:55 pm (UTC)[ How she looks... She looks feverish, honestly. She says this, a shaky whisper, but she makes no attempts to pull away. Can't even be strong enough to stand on her own anymore. ]
I'll- I'm gonna hurt you. I m-may not- I won't mean to. But I'm- I'm not a good person, Basil, I'm- angry, and mean, and- n-nothing made me that way.
[ Something aches behind her eyes. It's not exactly true. But a part of her wholeheartedly believes it. ]
I'm sick. [ What Lucas- Vecna said, parroted, eyes drifting down, away from the blurs she can see into the darkness. ] And- this place is only, it's only gonna m-make me worse, 'til I'm- just as bad as- Billy, or Neil, I'm not- good enough, fo- for any of you.
[ Fervent almost whispers. A limp hand grasps for Basil's tail, nevertheless. She's saying what she believes, but at the same time—don't leave me please don't leave me i can't be alone again
It all makes her sick. She makes herself sick. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-04-22 11:18 pm (UTC)He shakes his head a little, and when Max reaches for his tail, it reacts to her reflexively, the edge of it trying to curl around her wrist. The tip looks so much like a flower, with its long, soft texture that's almost velvet, fur-like.]
I don't care.
[Is what he finally ends up saying, which is- like everything else he's said so far- the truth.]
A bad person...w-wouldn't have helped me and Gladion like you did. Or take me on rides in her car...or make me laugh, when I feel like I don't have anything worth laughing about anymore.
[That much...he can feel confident in saying without the magic stopping him. Because it's all true.]
You...aren't perfect. Maybe you...aren't good, either. But you're not bad.
[Not unfixable, like he is.]
We can just... [A weak sort of derisive smile works its way onto Basil's features, because he's not just talking to Max now, as It watches him over her shoulder.] ...be not good, together.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-22 11:38 pm (UTC)He doesn't care, everything he's seen so far... It outweighs the rest of it.
And though it feels good—the assurance, the reciprocation to her request for physical comfort—
(she hadn't thought it would feel like this. so soft.)
She has to set him straight. If he knew, he wouldn't say that. She just has to explain.
Except she still feels dizzy. Maybe it's worse with her eyes closed, so she blinks them open, even though her head feels too weak to raise. She thinks the non-broken antler's digging into his shoulder. ]
Nn- no, you...
[ Much like Basil, she can't let that stand. ]
Basil... You're not... You're- so nice. And sweet. You...don't even get mad when I- say you're a nerd or, when I'm being just a- total bitch. You aren't- broken.
[ Right? ]
major omori spoilers from here on
Date: 2023-04-23 12:17 am (UTC)He has to protect Sunny. He promised him that everything would be okay.
But Something is still watching him from the corner, as if daring him to continue to try to lie.
Basil's breath suddenly hitches, a painful catch in the back of his throat. He shrinks back slightly, but it isn't Max he's hiding away from. Actually, he's...hiding behind Max, turning his head away, against her shoulder, unable to bear the weight of Something staring into his soul. It's that same corner, always watching, never leaving...]
...t.....there's no way out of this...
[Is there?]
no subject
Date: 2023-04-23 12:56 am (UTC)And it reminds her. The question he'd first asked, do you see it, too?
He's hiding. He's hiding from something, and she'd forgotten.
Max finally summons the strength to lift her head. The flowers on Basil's horns finally aren't blinding her, probably because of the angle. Still, as she tries to see what he cowers from, there's nothing there. ]
Basil...? What...are you hiding from...?
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From:cw: corpse decay, mild cannibalism. how can cannibalism be mild.
From:HOW CAN CANNIBALISM BE MILD
From:cw: MILD CANNIBALISM BC WE'RE MENTIONING THAT SHE ATE PEOPLE BUT NOT BEING EXPLICIT ABT IT???? IDK
From:SHIT u right tho, Omori spoilers, cw: cannibalism
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